I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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