i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize