Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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