k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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