Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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