Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
