you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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