No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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