question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
