goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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