I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Randomize
