After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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