Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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