Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
