a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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