she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
