yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
