this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
