Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
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