Please, let me fuck your mom
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
