It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
