I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize