Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
