Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize