I need help removing her.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
