Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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