haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
