my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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