Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
40s are totally the cure
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
