Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
