I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
