Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
