My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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