I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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