do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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