It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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