Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
