Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
True strength comes from lack of pants
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
