The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
