Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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