Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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