i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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