I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
And then he peed in my hair
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