just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
