she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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