she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
