Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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