i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
