there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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