it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
how drunk are you?
Several
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
