dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
