You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
