I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
