C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize