just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
