my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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