do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
