He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
