remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
