Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
