a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize