But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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