Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
