im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
