Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
