So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
