Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
