Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
