Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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