omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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