So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
