After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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