If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
