she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
