Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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