Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize