I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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